Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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