Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
