Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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