Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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