my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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