I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
