I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We are all done wearing pants today
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
