I accidentally had phone sex last night
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
