They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
