12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize