I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
