MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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