Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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