So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize