I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
