I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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