all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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