I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize