My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
