I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
