You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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