Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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