I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
