I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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