Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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