I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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