Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
