He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
