I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
