I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
