I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
