you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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