Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
