if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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