See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
