either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
