Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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