Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
