I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
