Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize