We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
