I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
