my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
