I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
my liver is dry heaving
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
