is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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