yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
