I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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