so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
