come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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