The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
