Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize