someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
