He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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