Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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