Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
