This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
