I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
