so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
