it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Bring me that man meat
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
