I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize