An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
